When there are "Hello"s, there are "Goodbye"s

As I walked into the campus this morning, I looked up to Block A's building where the 'UCSI' word has got to be the most obvious sign to tell you you're in the right place. Kuala Lumpur, South Wing.

And I can't help but to think back (again!) of how much has happened since the first time I set foot in this place -- Fell down right at the entrance on a rainy evening and hurt my back. Couldn't walk or sit or lay without feeling pain for 3 days. (Then I fell down again on my own front porch a week later.)

UCSI seemed like the perfect choice because of its location and low cost of fees.
Then we moved and I contributed in making the road more jammed every weekday morning.

First sem in May 2010 has got to be the beginning of the most epic change of my life.
Counting down the times, I've never been good at learning from mistakes until then.
I literally fell for a fella, where I actually fell in front of him and twisted my ankle on the staircase.
(Oh, and I walked into the library's sliding glass door that once.)

Well, of course things didn't work out and here I am!
(Scary how everything happened and links to result in where you stand, or fall, today.)

Nothing epic happened recently. Almost kena robbed 5 months back, a fire at Hilltop, and a bus that went haywired and crashed in campus. Yeah. Nothing much. I'm just thankful I didn't fall anymore.

So I've just been back from taking the final exam paper, and that marked the last day of the semester!

Ever actually tried laughing and staring at a paper because you had no idea what to answer or how to place words into sentences, and that you know you're just - one word - screwed?
10 minutes had passed when I realized I had just been staring at the paper.
(These things actually do happen!)

Love, heartbreak, friendship, faith, belief and lots of crazy stuff in the past 10 semesters, uni had definitely given me priceless and unforgettable experiences.
Can't wait to see what the next stage would bring :)

Black and white keys

She lay on the couch. Looking up to the ceiling while stroking her dog's tangled fur, time slowed down.
She got up and looked around the room. Still and silent. Still and -- silent.

"What was all that about?"

Too still. Too quiet.
She walked to the black and white keys, and stayed there for hours.

Married men. Why do some act like they're single?
Single women. Why do some go after men who just aren't -- single?
And why do life questions always seem to appear out of nowhere when you're thinking about absolutely nothing on a lazy weekend afternoon?

She'd been up all night. She never expected that.
Not at 1 A.M.
Not at 3 A.M.
And definitely not at 5 A.M.
She fell asleep even before the clock struck 5 anyway.

3 o'clock. As much as she wanted to, she couldn't feel anything.
6 o'clock. Messages came flooding in. And they just continued.
9 o'clock. It doesn't seem as hurtful as she thought it would be.
12 o'clock. I don't think she's gonna learn.

She had her answer, and that was all that was needed.

Secrets

I've never been good at keeping them.

Don't get me wrong. I keep people's secrets; I just don't keep mine to myself LOL.

I don't have secrets; I only have things that people don't know about.

Bits and pieces of my life are shared among all my friends and family.

I don't believe in secrets; I just believe that people should have their privacy on certain matters and not everyone should know everything.

For me, I don't feel the need to hide anything, and hiding something about myself isn't me.
I'm quite cacat this way.

But now there's one and it's killing me that I can't tell.
Well, it's actually someone else's but it's kinda affecting me.
So how can I tell someone about it and not expose the person at the same time?
Way out of my comfort zone.

Why do people have secrets if you're not from the National Security, Defense and International Relations department anyway?
Apart from walking up to strangers and telling them your house address, where you put your keys and at what time you're not home, what are actually secrets for us normal ordinary people?

What are secrets meant to be?

What's graduating like?

Today marks the last class of the semester, my final semester.
So the 7 of us decided to celebrate this day with lunch at Marco's Pizza.
Previously, we received a cash voucher of RM150 for the best presentation in Branding class.
So why not?

Had we any idea the place was located right opposite of Kelana Jaya LRT Station, we would have just taken the train instead of driving 2 cars, being stuck in the jam for an hour, passing through tolls and being trolled by the GPS.

All in all, everything turned out great. We ordered 3 large pizzas, 4 soups and a drink each, which in total costed RM200. We kinda looked up the RM150 voucher a little too much.

Lunch went on for 2 hours, where we just talked and ate and talked. Madagascar 3 was shown on the television there, where we (were just being super awesome the way we were and) just sat there watching the movie like little kids. We made ourselves at home and literally laughed out loud at the restaurant.

More plans had been made for hang out sessions before most of them start their internship in September.

***

I would say, things had been crazy.
This hadn't exactly been the best week yet but it hadn't been the worst either. Today made it up.
I would definitely miss being a UCSI student where I get to walk in and out of classes with wonderful course mates.
Honestly, we all have regrets in life, and I would look back and always ask myself why I hadn't been hanging out with these people more, where I laid my priorities on something else that wasn't worthwhile for so long before this. (I'd only been getting close and started hanging out with them only this year.)
But we work along these regrets, where we learn from them and try our best not to repeat them, for I would always value the times these people had included me in their gatherings and social life.

There are still 2 more assignments that need to be handed in via email next week, and one final paper on the 14th August, and of course there's still a 4-month internship period to go next year. But, it's not the same anymore.
I don't have classes anymore. I don't need to go for consultations or work on anymore tutorials.
I wouldn't need to fork out so much money to print on colour'ed assignments or have to stress on redoing any written reports. I'm kinda in a way done as a Uni student.
I've kinda in a way graduated already. Not yet but it feels like it.

Even though there were lots of drama happening with lots of gossips around, and all the stressful works given, this last semester had been the best semester. 10 semesters had gone, leaving one more to go (for internship). Convocation next year will then be another story.

We've been looking forward to completing Degree for so long, and now that it's here, it's actually here.
I haven't even graduate, and I'm missing life as a student already. Mehh.
Life moves on though, and it's kinda cool too that I'm moving on to the next stage in life.

I'll miss it but better things come to those who move and walk forward.
Everything that's going on right now may seem like the perfect place to stay in right now, but for how long?
Comfort zones need to be pushed out from and time doesn't wait.
We seize the opportunity and when the time permits, it's time.
I'll miss UCSI times, but even better things await.

As for those who are still stuck in UCSI for another semester or another year to go (especially in Mass Comm course), Oooooomygosh. Good luck, because with all the changes made in the past 2 years, you'll be needing it a lot more than you think.

Signing off at 1.15am.
Good night!

July

When you think of February, you think of red and Valentines Day.

Same when you think of December, you think of green and Christmas.
So what about July? What comes in mind when you think of July?

For me, July had always been the most dramatic month for as long as I can remember (2009).

From all the funny funny things that happened, to the most heartbreaking moments, to the most memorable times, to the promising ends and all sorts of stuff, July had always been crazy.

As for this July, it had treated me fair. Still dramatic, but fair and crazy.

It had it's most stressful and frustrating moments, made me feel restless and fell sick halfway through. Not to mention had to redo assignments and my car battery died one night.

Then again, July had me catch up with a long-lost friend, reminded me that I have wonderful jimui's and cell members, and that there's more than just a July to look out for. Something's telling me that things are going to get better, just like how every other day will bring a new light.

I've been focusing so much on the negatives of what happened in the past few July's that when that came to a halt last year, it kinda marked a turning point for me last year 2012.
So I kinda fancy July in a weird way now, wanting to see how the coming July's would be.
Glad to say this July had been fun, and that I've been free a year now.

So July's ending in 30 minutes and 31 minutes later marks August.
A new day, a new month.
And...I guess I'll see July next year :)

Honestly speaking right now? Frustration mode is on. But what on earth. Everyone has problems but not everyone is unhappy.
My problem la. How a person handle the things thrown at them determines who they are, and I'm doing no good here.
React or respond? Respond or react?

What's currently happening? Lazy to study for tomorrow's test.

Oh the other one? Reading back old blog posts and going "Oh God why."

Like seriously.

Maybe it's the changed priorities, and maybe it's the changed mindset and perception of life.

But one thing's for sure, it's because I've grown up.
And that the people around me are finally worth having around :)

Who knows? Maybe 2 years down the road I'll be reading this post and have the exact same thought of wanting to build a time machine, go back to the past and smack myself for being so immature. Uhhh...what?

Oh well, life goes on and lots are to be learnt throughout the journey, and that kinda makes life interesting. And...things had been fun lately :)

Ohhhkay oh crap oh gosh. Just realized there's so much to do in so little time. Fun time, play time? Okay, let's just hold onto a pause right there just for this one week, okay?

Counting 123

Every day,
I count these numbers.
I count from one to ten,
thinking "maybe, just maybe there might be more."
I was right.

Every day,
I refresh my mind.
I refresh what there had been,
that something was just missing.
It can't be just ten.

Then it hits me.
I've never tried this before.
All the YOLOness and courage has taken its hit on me.
All these people around me,
giving me opinions.
The sounds; the voices.
My head is spinning.

I was right.
There was more than ten.
This final semester, by taking all Year 3 subjects for the very first time, never in my life had I been rushing on assignments every day and every night.
Since my mind isn't really concentrating in class now and that all these random words have placed themselves in such sentences on this very beautiful sleepy Wednesday afternoon, tadah.

Media publishing (3 assign, 1 test)
Photojourn (5 tutorials, 1 assign, 1 test)
Media Law (5 tutorials, 1 assign, 1 presentation, 2 tests, 1 final paper)
Branding (5 tutorials, 1 individual assign, 1 group assign, 1 presentation, 1 test)

The above will all be completed in another 19 days.
Yayy!