Plot Twist

What was supposed to be a short bike ride,
Ended up with the tire puncturing in the middle of nowhere at 11.45pm,
With work the next day.

What was supposed to be simple ride home,
Ended up witnessing an accident right before my eyes,
When the car sped right into another just a lane away.

What was supposed to be a healthy badminton session,
Ended up limping for the next few weeks,
When I twisted my ankle for the very first time.

What was supposed to work out in the name of boy-girl relationship,
Ended before anything started,
Which turned out to be a very fortunate ending.

What was supposed to be like any other lazy weekend,
Ended up having us working 12 hours a day at PWTC,
When MATTA Fair intruded for the very first time after working 3 months.

What was supposed to be just all innocent and happy-go-lucky thinking,
Ended being cautious and alert and street smart,
When circumstances pushed a little too far for comfort.

What was supposed to be one Bravissimo and no more,
Ended up sparkling up a really special friendship,
With board games and new people and a reconciliation.

What was supposed to be just work 9am-6pm,
Ended up looking forward to lunch every weekday,
When colleagues became friends,
And when colleagues became companions :)

Destined but not fated

The first step was filled with fear, doubtfulness and uncertainty.
The next few months saw how life could change so much for the better, if only you believed.
In less than a year, I watched how cell multiply and how miracles happened, attended a leadership camp at Cameron Highlands, was photographer for an event, and became a part of the sounds and lighting crew.
For once, I felt that sense of belonging, and always thought I was fated to stay in HSG.

That turned out to apply only for 2013.
And this heart wrenches a lot, thinking about how I don't understand them people who helped me through it all, and how I don't feel belonged anymore.

Things started to change ever since "what about the future?" popped up.
Personal problems came up and accumulated to that all at the same time.
Slowly, HSG didn't feel like that place I looked forward to go to anymore.
And not sure how Friday nights were no longer cell nights anymore.

And just when all was about work, other's happiness and worries were thrown at me.
So though I wasn't able to serve in HSG anymore, it was a starting point.

I always knew someone up there likes me and wouldn't leave me without a purpose on earth.
HSG was great but I don't belong there.
Let's go render somewhere else.



Go out and get some sun.
The sun almost killed me.
Thunderstorm and lightning it is then.

Dahmer turned Dobler

What's that saying of letting a relationship grow organically?

It didn't start with love at first sight, nor was it anywhere near taking a second glance.
Nope. Not even a second thought of each other crossed anyone's mind.
The two had nothing in common, and they had no clue what each other does daily.
It wasn't all fireworks or love letters.
It was just a plain no way, José.
Not sure how the two exchanged numbers at the beginning to say.

He doesn't talk about flowers or chocolates or romantic dining places.
Instead, he says you're a weirdo for choosing to download a movie rather than heading to the cinemas.
He talks about that hot girl in his workplace one time and hates it that you keep bringing it up again.
You talk about buying a car/house in the future, and he tells you he can save enough money by then.
What.
Where.

Never once he hides signs of that typical (ugh) guy whom you just know you'd never bring home to meet your parents.
Indecisive. Quiet. Foul languages. A drinker. Sweet talks to all the girls.
Let's not even get started on his English proficiency.
Okay. I just went all out criticizing.

You had to do the rational talking and reasoning and tell him to stop being such a whiner.
And for God's sake, was it that hard to tell a little white lie between work and uni?
Then later on you find out, that he can't sweet talk at all.

Sam pat and stingy. That's how he describes you. Right.

Never once did you think it'd lead anywhere.
You try to give it a go and see where it goes.
Still nothing and things are better off as friends.
Then suddenly, something happens.
Not sure how it started, and can't remember how it came to be, but kinda seeing how it goes.

"I need to pee."

Okay. Down the drain goes all the remains of a could-be beautiful story.

People come and people go

Most of the time, it's what happens that changes a person.

For me, it's bad experiences and failed friendships.

Proud to say the former opened my eyes to better things in life.
Not proud to admit the latter placed my priorities into work, fortune and power.

2 years ago, Z and I had this major conflict going on. We ended up with a bigger conflict that was able to send years of great friendship down the drain. But it's funny how when two people put all ego and anger aside, are able to forget the complicated past and pretend that the last 2 years never happened. Words cannot describe how grateful I am to retain this best friend. Z now has a beautiful girlfriend whom I can't wait to meet!

The same time Z left back then, J came. And at my lowest moment in life, he introduced a group of friends whom seemingly would never leave. I made a mistake back then, and they looked through all ugliness and set me back up on my feet. They became who I turned to during my gloriest times and were the gang I constantly hang out with no matter during crazy moments or dreadful times. Good things don't last long and 2 years later, I unintentionally made the same mistake. I never got the help and (not intentionally by any of them), the feeling they gave me sent me drowning every night. J now has a talented girlfriend, and tells me he can never hang out with me like how we used to.

Life's not sad. I've just grown up. Maybe a little immature on the latter friendship? Yes, that I admit. Life is more simplified than it should be. But right now, life is about healing that injured ankle I twisted last Saturday night and get back on my feet. This time, independently. I got this. Friends don't stay forever. And for those who do, be on the lookout. You can't trust anyone 100% anymore.

Except them family members, because who will be more excited to know you achieved the highest CGPA in your faculty, was selected to compete for the coming valedictorian spot, has this potential boyfriend material driving you to places and actually lets you try it out before you call the final decision, and has a bright future in this current company (because the strict executive director looked up to you, not the general manager whom you've known since 6). It's them family members who will not make you choose between worse and bad, whom will not make you feel guilty of the path you've chosen, and though they don't understand where you stand, they always have your back no matter what. Sorry to disappoint, but if you make me choose between anything and family, I choose them loved ones.

Come Home

Guess I just needed a break for awhile,
To get my mind off things awhile,
To relax just for a little while.

Because all those times,
When I thought I was relaxing,
Those were the moments where it hit the hardest,
And the most painful.

Until meeting Kee Yee 4 hours ago.

I don't know.
It's too hard to say.
It's only been a couple of hours,
And I act upon strong emotional feelings.

But if he can score a CGPA of 3.90,
And still be enjoying life happily,
With full acceptance of his condition,
(It's the first impression I got from him),
Why not, right?

Neuron muscle disease,
Or something like that.
He looks into the future so,
So much.

I don't make sense.
I hardly do.
But show others your best side.
And show yourself that too.

Officially a working adult

No longer on Facebook much nowadays.

No longer any uni days and able to walk around the mall at 10:00.

My student ID only expires December 2014 though, and if that's not something to celebrate, then I don't know what is.

You know you're becoming an adult when :

1. You start reading up on bank accounts and wishing you had enough to open a FD account

2. You look into insurance A LOT

3. You know how much you have for EPF and SOCSO monthly

4. You know EPF is KWSP, and SOCSO is Perkeso (Google helped a lot)

5. Checking LinkedIn a little more than you should

6. There's no time for Twitter (remember the times you said you'd secretly tweet at the office?)

7. There's no time for lunch!

8. You actually stay in the office until 20:00

9. You start using 20:00 instead of 8pm

10. You dread Wednesdays because your friends made badminton a weekly thing on Weds nights

11. You can't wait to go home straight after work and get that good night's rest

12. And the worst part? You start declining all weekday night activities and rather cuddle up in front of the tv for an hour before heading to bed at 22:30

(And when I say "you", I meant me. I guess not everyone does the above things, but well, meh, that's currently me. There's a lot more to the list where I never thought I'd do in my early 20's.)

Okay. Current status: Boring working adult.

Much has happened and much has changed

So much has happened since the last time I blogged.

Done are the intern days in Prestige and here's to the first week of this full-time position as a management assistant at CIT. No longer a student. The world now welcomes a brand new boring working adult.

Here's a short update for the past few weeks:
1. UCSI days are all done with the last day of intern on 30 April.
2. It's not that I don't fancy Korea, I'd just rather choose countries that speak English.
3. Loving Broga Hill. Need hiking shoes. Need more stamina. Need to stop being afraid of heights.
4. Thinking of rollerblading.
5. Still an introvert here. I'm boring (not "bored", to all you grammar nazis out there) but I'm loving it.
6. Looking forward to Saturdays.

Things had been crazy. Growing up has been a hell of a journey.

And guess what?

It's only the beginning.

Life is gonna be fun.