An open house and a lunch outing to free her from the thoughts of a heartbreak. Little did I know that one small act pulled you two together.
I only wished that I was never involved in that drama. God, why did I try to even fix things when it wasn't mine to handle? I didn't even think I did it out of goodness and kindness. Anyhow, that made the bond between you two stronger.
I missed how I used to hang out with her. Classes and all such a naive young fool.
I missed how I used to hang out with him; closer after graduation and share about everything.
Then that happened. And I knew I was at fault. I left, which she only had him. What did I do wrong? Everything.
I can only wish my impression of her has been all wrong, so wrong, and that he's out of the past misery and seeking for a better future. I'm now out of their lives, but I wish the best for the both of them.
I really do.
Wednesday, March 19, 2014
Thursday, March 6, 2014
Take that one step and cast out all fears
Fear; a simple four-lettered word that has way too many descriptions.
Defined and described differently with each passing individual, they seem to have one thing in common – a hinder from moving forward. The only thing that pulls us back, as irony as it is, is just ourselves.
Take a look at fear. You can’t touch it, see it, hear it (unless you’re hallucinating then please take that medicine you have in your drawer.) But we feel it. It becomes so strong; we come to think that fear is something very real and very tangible. It suddenly becomes touchable, seeable, hearable, and you're not hallucinating. Or maybe you still are.
I fear failure. I fear getting hurt. I fear making all the wrong decisions. And I definitely fear what the future brings. I fear a lot of things, where uncertainty tops the list. I fear but I’m just as human as every person out there.
Fear isn’t real, but isn’t fear a challenge? Doesn't fear let you know you're on to something important? You fear, but you still move forward. Not too fast, but slowly and surely steadily.
People blame fear, but fear will always be a part of us. So don’t block it out. Maybe perhaps just welcome it as an old friend and get to know fear. Peace and harmony has always been better than blood and war.
“Fear is not real. The only place that fear can exist is in our thoughts of the future. It is a product of our imagination, causing us to fear things that do not at present and may not ever exist. That is near insanity. Do not misunderstand me. Danger is very real but fear is a choice.” ― Will Smith
Defined and described differently with each passing individual, they seem to have one thing in common – a hinder from moving forward. The only thing that pulls us back, as irony as it is, is just ourselves.
Take a look at fear. You can’t touch it, see it, hear it (unless you’re hallucinating then please take that medicine you have in your drawer.) But we feel it. It becomes so strong; we come to think that fear is something very real and very tangible. It suddenly becomes touchable, seeable, hearable, and you're not hallucinating. Or maybe you still are.
I fear failure. I fear getting hurt. I fear making all the wrong decisions. And I definitely fear what the future brings. I fear a lot of things, where uncertainty tops the list. I fear but I’m just as human as every person out there.
Fear isn’t real, but isn’t fear a challenge? Doesn't fear let you know you're on to something important? You fear, but you still move forward. Not too fast, but slowly and surely steadily.
People blame fear, but fear will always be a part of us. So don’t block it out. Maybe perhaps just welcome it as an old friend and get to know fear. Peace and harmony has always been better than blood and war.
“Fear is not real. The only place that fear can exist is in our thoughts of the future. It is a product of our imagination, causing us to fear things that do not at present and may not ever exist. That is near insanity. Do not misunderstand me. Danger is very real but fear is a choice.” ― Will Smith
Sunday, February 23, 2014
Turn this fragile heart around
Just finished watching Cloudy with a Chance of Meatball 2; I love it. Just imagine you're going through some tough times in life, and suddenly right in front of you, a movie conveys a message.
"Take some time off and look around. Appreciate the little things. People make mistakes. People are distracted by the foolishness and voices in their heads. You think you're not good enough until you prove something. But nope. You're good enough the way you are. And even if you do stupid things along they way, you get to turn things around. And friends; don't forget friends."
Do also talk about Cody Simpson's La Dee Dum to end the movie. Catchy. I love it. And it also brings up hopes in life. You know that little faith you always had along with you? That.
I've been running away from problems, and that's not new. It's just so much easier to not think of things as they go, and suddenly instead of you controlling stress, stress controls you.
I'm like a piece of floating stick that's only going in the direction of the current. Maybe I should start swimming and turn this all around; to do the things I wanna do; to do the things I need to do; to start remembering other people's presence, and, to do the things that really need to be done.
But first, I need some good time management and to stop being so lazy on my off days.
Internship? Can la. Just wait till you see a full-time job. Okay.
"Take some time off and look around. Appreciate the little things. People make mistakes. People are distracted by the foolishness and voices in their heads. You think you're not good enough until you prove something. But nope. You're good enough the way you are. And even if you do stupid things along they way, you get to turn things around. And friends; don't forget friends."
Do also talk about Cody Simpson's La Dee Dum to end the movie. Catchy. I love it. And it also brings up hopes in life. You know that little faith you always had along with you? That.
I've been running away from problems, and that's not new. It's just so much easier to not think of things as they go, and suddenly instead of you controlling stress, stress controls you.
I'm like a piece of floating stick that's only going in the direction of the current. Maybe I should start swimming and turn this all around; to do the things I wanna do; to do the things I need to do; to start remembering other people's presence, and, to do the things that really need to be done.
But first, I need some good time management and to stop being so lazy on my off days.
Internship? Can la. Just wait till you see a full-time job. Okay.
Saturday, February 8, 2014
Imaginative: Kawynski level
Beneath the dog house of the Kawynski family lays a secret lair underground that no human knows of, and only Kaka knows that her dogs can talk; until baby Kris Kris learns to walk, accidentally discovers the entrance and finds herself in front of the leader of all dogs – a pug.
Life will never be normal for Kris as Kaka guides her into becoming the only human beings at saving the world against evil cats, side by side with the world's most trained dogs at … (wait, we never came up with the name for the secret dog place!)
Yup, even as a 5-year old, my sis had the most creative imagination. We played through the whole scene of everything after Mr and Mrs Kawynski introduced one dog to the family –Dalmatian Pongo. Little did they know along comes female Dalmatian Perdita, brown Labrador Max, white Labrador Lightning, black Labrador Buster and a pretty Whitey who looks more arctic wolf than dog. Thinking it was incidental? The adults would need to put on their thinking caps to find the resemblance.
The human characters aren't even half mentioned, with an oldest sister Kate in college (or Cake as the girls call her as she turns out to be a good baker), an arrogant-but-funny-and-charming Ken who has a soft spot for his 2 little sisters, and the bratty Kitty who hates the nickname Kiki the girls came up with. There’s also cousins See See and Saw Saw, Lily and (forgot what's Lily’s younger sister's name), and Jay Jay and Kay Kay.
As kids, we sure make lots of twisting plots here and there. Not too sure? Spoilers below.
Max and Lightning have special powers.
Buster was once untameable until he met Kaka.
All three of Lily’s cats are under-covers for the dogs.
Kiki stumbles across the lair and threatens to tell the world.
Then we have a new generation of puppies starting with Dalmatian Roger.
Oh, it's always a happy ending of course; I'm just amazed with the imagination of kids, acting out the storyline and coming out with so many characters and all. You can never underestimate them. And speaking of which, have to admit my sis has been the best actor and director.
Life will never be normal for Kris as Kaka guides her into becoming the only human beings at saving the world against evil cats, side by side with the world's most trained dogs at … (wait, we never came up with the name for the secret dog place!)
Yup, even as a 5-year old, my sis had the most creative imagination. We played through the whole scene of everything after Mr and Mrs Kawynski introduced one dog to the family –Dalmatian Pongo. Little did they know along comes female Dalmatian Perdita, brown Labrador Max, white Labrador Lightning, black Labrador Buster and a pretty Whitey who looks more arctic wolf than dog. Thinking it was incidental? The adults would need to put on their thinking caps to find the resemblance.
The human characters aren't even half mentioned, with an oldest sister Kate in college (or Cake as the girls call her as she turns out to be a good baker), an arrogant-but-funny-and-charming Ken who has a soft spot for his 2 little sisters, and the bratty Kitty who hates the nickname Kiki the girls came up with. There’s also cousins See See and Saw Saw, Lily and (forgot what's Lily’s younger sister's name), and Jay Jay and Kay Kay.
As kids, we sure make lots of twisting plots here and there. Not too sure? Spoilers below.
Max and Lightning have special powers.
Buster was once untameable until he met Kaka.
All three of Lily’s cats are under-covers for the dogs.
Kiki stumbles across the lair and threatens to tell the world.
Then we have a new generation of puppies starting with Dalmatian Roger.
Oh, it's always a happy ending of course; I'm just amazed with the imagination of kids, acting out the storyline and coming out with so many characters and all. You can never underestimate them. And speaking of which, have to admit my sis has been the best actor and director.
Friday, February 7, 2014
Just write
The more I read, the more I realize I'm doing this whole blogging thing wrong. Kudos to that shy personality for not making this page too widely-known.
First rule of writing – it has to be interesting.
Seriously, it seems so easy and yet, what does 'interesting' mean? How do you know you're attracting attention and not boring readers away? Well, for people like me, you don't.
But you continue writing just to entertain yourself, placing thoughts into words just as initially planned from the start.
...
I must be doing something wrong here.
Maybe I'll just start each post with "Dear Diary" from this day on. It sounds more relevant.
As I realize, I'm more into finding myself, as much as how I hope to gain a further insight of other people's life and what they think about that fire drill across the street.
Never too late to realize I'm more interested in people than the fact there's some rare diamond in some museum or gallery out there.
Maybe I should have gone into Psychology than Journalism you say? Nope. Things wouldn't have been this way if I had done that.
Weird paths we have in life? Yes.
The more I write, the more I realize I'm more of a plain narrator; no persuading, no beautiful fancy adjectives, no making you think how transparently blue/green is that ocean.
I don't know how to grab attention, just as much as I don't know how to slam the phone down at that conman from 03-20750000 who spelled my name twice, reminding me how to spell my full name.
In my defense, I was making her talk non-stop for 12 minutes so she'd lose her voice and reject her at one shot when she goes asking for personal details.
And I know how to spell my full name, thank you very much.
But all in all, I don't dream to write for a big audience, or any readers who wants to find some interesting posts online. I ju – wait.
Dear Diary,
I just write!
First rule of writing – it has to be interesting.
Seriously, it seems so easy and yet, what does 'interesting' mean? How do you know you're attracting attention and not boring readers away? Well, for people like me, you don't.
But you continue writing just to entertain yourself, placing thoughts into words just as initially planned from the start.
...
I must be doing something wrong here.
Maybe I'll just start each post with "Dear Diary" from this day on. It sounds more relevant.
As I realize, I'm more into finding myself, as much as how I hope to gain a further insight of other people's life and what they think about that fire drill across the street.
Never too late to realize I'm more interested in people than the fact there's some rare diamond in some museum or gallery out there.
Maybe I should have gone into Psychology than Journalism you say? Nope. Things wouldn't have been this way if I had done that.
Weird paths we have in life? Yes.
The more I write, the more I realize I'm more of a plain narrator; no persuading, no beautiful fancy adjectives, no making you think how transparently blue/green is that ocean.
I don't know how to grab attention, just as much as I don't know how to slam the phone down at that conman from 03-20750000 who spelled my name twice, reminding me how to spell my full name.
In my defense, I was making her talk non-stop for 12 minutes so she'd lose her voice and reject her at one shot when she goes asking for personal details.
And I know how to spell my full name, thank you very much.
But all in all, I don't dream to write for a big audience, or any readers who wants to find some interesting posts online. I ju – wait.
Dear Diary,
I just write!
Wednesday, January 29, 2014
“Robbing”
I couldn't help but to mutter “robbed” under my breath. The two just link instantly. One wouldn't bring out the meaning without the other anyway.
Neither was intentionally planned out, of course. And I don’t suppose acknowledgment. I can’t even make out of this frustration burning within. But friends don’t just cut off friends coldly just like that, and I’m left questioning these set of values.
Saying I’m indifferent to it is no more than just a lie. I’m of the opposite gender, and a very sensitive one too that goes all the distance wondering what a European thinks about that vase in Timbuktu. That’s just me, together with so many fears and worries; much to my own disappointment. But hey, we aren't perfect.
I shouldn't anyway, but the fact is I am. I’m just waiting for it to wear off. How I long for that day to laugh at this day. In the meantime, all’s a walking journey. Not a bad one, though. All's a learning progress.
Walk with me. I need You.
Neither was intentionally planned out, of course. And I don’t suppose acknowledgment. I can’t even make out of this frustration burning within. But friends don’t just cut off friends coldly just like that, and I’m left questioning these set of values.
Saying I’m indifferent to it is no more than just a lie. I’m of the opposite gender, and a very sensitive one too that goes all the distance wondering what a European thinks about that vase in Timbuktu. That’s just me, together with so many fears and worries; much to my own disappointment. But hey, we aren't perfect.
I shouldn't anyway, but the fact is I am. I’m just waiting for it to wear off. How I long for that day to laugh at this day. In the meantime, all’s a walking journey. Not a bad one, though. All's a learning progress.
Walk with me. I need You.
Tuesday, January 28, 2014
Tickling time
Yes. Tickling.
I watch as the time on the desktop displays 4:30 PM, and done are all the short snippets, with a lot a lot a lot of editing to do by the editor later on. And here I was last Thursday worrying I couldn't meet the deadline. Now here I am thinking what am I going to do from 9-6pm tomorrow and the day after that?
Since my first day here, time had pretty much been spent on writing, writing and writing; most of the time I'm blanking out and trying to brain in what was actually being written on. Much to learn; more to learn. If I had used the past 85 minutes wisely, I could have gotten more sneak peak of their writing skills here. Then that dreadful lazy side kicks in, devilishly whispering you don’t need to write about this, yet. Thanks a lot. But on the bright side, I’m keener on reading now. I used to just look at words. Guilty.
Reading isn't just reading, and the last 85 minutes were spent going through unread posts from Jo Ng. Nah, it's not a waste of time at all. I just want to know what happens next in Train. Was trying to hold in laughing in the office. And then, it just stops at Chapter 3. What.
But anyway, really, a hands up to these amateur-turned-professional writers, and these senior writers in the office, just as much as to any writers out there, who has all spent so much time doing what they do. Putting words onto a blank sheet of paper isn't a piece of cake, though we actually did have moist chocolate cake today from Hilton alongside other CNY treats, because writing doesn't come easy.
I watch as the time on the desktop displays 4:30 PM, and done are all the short snippets, with a lot a lot a lot of editing to do by the editor later on. And here I was last Thursday worrying I couldn't meet the deadline. Now here I am thinking what am I going to do from 9-6pm tomorrow and the day after that?
Since my first day here, time had pretty much been spent on writing, writing and writing; most of the time I'm blanking out and trying to brain in what was actually being written on. Much to learn; more to learn. If I had used the past 85 minutes wisely, I could have gotten more sneak peak of their writing skills here. Then that dreadful lazy side kicks in, devilishly whispering you don’t need to write about this, yet. Thanks a lot. But on the bright side, I’m keener on reading now. I used to just look at words. Guilty.
Reading isn't just reading, and the last 85 minutes were spent going through unread posts from Jo Ng. Nah, it's not a waste of time at all. I just want to know what happens next in Train. Was trying to hold in laughing in the office. And then, it just stops at Chapter 3. What.
But anyway, really, a hands up to these amateur-turned-professional writers, and these senior writers in the office, just as much as to any writers out there, who has all spent so much time doing what they do. Putting words onto a blank sheet of paper isn't a piece of cake, though we actually did have moist chocolate cake today from Hilton alongside other CNY treats, because writing doesn't come easy.
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