Because my worst enemy is my mind itself

Imma like a quagga or a dodo bird.
If I die today, I'll be extinct tomorrow.

I'm a rare species.Just like the narwal.

But if you were here all the time, I'd be anything anyone wants me to be.

Falling stars

It's the third day of CNY! UCSI's been gloomy. Not much cars or people around, which makes those who attended class have the feeling of "Why am I here again?" Some more dearest Mr Ken Choong doesn't take attendance for 8am Popular Culture. Blah. Oh well. He went in the wrong class again and showed up 10 minutes later again! Shhhhh.

Third day of CNY, which meant during the past few nights, lots and lots of pretty, awesome fireworks were thrown continuosly into the dark sky. Kesian all the dogs out there only. Yuki, Miko, Sesame, Leng Leng, Bowie, Muffin, August, Mocha, Bama, Sessi, Claypot.

Not but not least, there's Nike. Look after Cindy? Rest in peace. You know you filled in the empty space in the Chan family the past 3 years. Though you were 8 back then, you represented Ah Gong. You were old yet you felt very young at heart. You barked and ran in circles when any vehicles pass by the house. There was once the gate was left opened and you ran out chasing after a motorcycle, then 73-year-old Ah Gong ran after you, and the rest had to run after Ah Gong. You were always jealous when others called only Leng Leng and not you. Only did you quiet down when your name was finally mentioned. You were boney, skinny and your legs are as thin as a stick. You had no fur and well, you just had no fear of anything. Even when your kidneys and heart started to fall weaker day by day, you fought. You were going blind and you'd still walk around like nobody's business, and maybe knocking into everything and falling into the side drain and injuring yourself. you still growl at people when you were just 15cm and 2kg large, and could be thrown 10 miles if kicked. Funny thing is, you never growl at Cindy and obey her all her "Come!"s. You were sick for quite some time. And a day before you left, your eye sparkled as if they never fell blind. You chose to leave the night you were let to sleep in the house. You chose a day before Cindy and the family were leaving for Vietnam. You chose a rainy morning, a day before Chinese New Year. You let Cindy sent you along the way one last time, before the new year in the chinese calender. Cindy cried, but could talk about you 10 hours later, smiling and laughing even when mentioning about you. You brought joy in the house for 3 years. So, look after her? Look after Leng Leng. Look after the whole family. Look after all of us. Because you will be missed. Rest in peace, Nike, You will be remembered.

Current relationship: It's complicated

Things that people know, things they do not know, things they've found out only recently, things that make them worry and care so much, things that make them call everyday, things that they remind me that I'm not alone in this, things that makes me thinking, should I tell them this?
You say almost obvious. I say blind and blinder. We say perhaps lunch?

To wait for a ship at the train station, or at the airport?

Sometimes it's just the stuff you gotta risk in life to know which direction you wanna go, which path you wanna choose, which road you're heading towards to.
To risk adventures, risk feelings, risk jumping, falling, leaping, running, skipping.
Hectic week, I would say to describe the beginning of a new sem.
Accept and appreciate is what i would say for now. For whatever happened this morning stays this morning. No more, and yet hoping for more.
Small possibility was heard. Not worth it was heard more often. But sometimes it's the things you gotta risk to know what's next.
So what's next?

Gotta stop relying on my bed and start waking up

Am I better off dead? Am I better off a quitter?
SO NOT!


This random girl here is happily spamming songs every night. Thanks for the company that night when she needed to talk the most. Cheers to self that she's listening to emo songs and still standing tall for the last 24 hours. Fingers crossed it'll stay this way until..well until she's fully recovered.

Sooooooo, something weird is going on with all the guy friends recently. It's either the Christmas spirit's gotten over them, or they're playing cool with high ego, or they've forever actually been gentlemen by paying for all the meals. O_o .. Or maybe their allowance was recently increased. =p

You know what, not only am I gonna try and stop texting and driving, I'm gonna stop driving when I'm feeling upset. The world out there looks so beautiful! And the future is just so bright. I see myself graduating, spending 3 months in Aussie followed by a week or 2 in Atlanta, then come back in M'sia and start finding a secure job while trying part time on grooming courses.


If there's one thing I found out about myself this holidays apart from the picture quote above, is that I love spamming in FB, Twitter, and especially in Blogspot. Line dislikes Tumblr so, so much! Blaaa.

Sorry. But the only way for me to move on is to be mean to you. It comes with a price though, all negative thoughts are always gonna be with me till who-knows-when.