I love you.

Need I say more? I'm actually okay with the fact that you don’t love me anymore, as long as I do.
And I still really, really do.

You’ll always have a huge supporter and a huge fan forever supporting you from behind, and who will always, always be on your side. You may not know it, but I hope it crosses your mind.

I apologize sincerely for all the threats I dropped on you previously. I wasn't myself, and I was just stupid as it made you run and hide and had blown up a chance at friendship.

But here, I'm okay. Whatever drama has passed. What's passed is the past. As long as you’re happy, that’s more than enough.

Future her doesn’t have to be me. Just promise, that you’ll find her one day. Let her be someone worth your tears and time and effort. If you think she’s the perfect girl for you, I know she’s the perfect girl for you.

Because I love you, silly. I've been in love with you since the very first month.
But you don’t need to know it anymore.

What started out with uoy ekil i kniht i, it's uoy evol wonk i.

Making sure I'm keeping my distance, and say I love you, when you're not listening :)

So, this is goodbye, huh? :)

For once, it feels all so good.
Sometimes, letting go is good?

I can't be there for you anymore, not because I don't want to.
I can't be there anymore, simply because I can't.

Stalking into how you've been, how you've grown since we parted ways,
I'm happy when you smile, but I worry when you frown or face insomnia nights.
But what the hell. Deep down I'll be hoping the best for you.

Sometimes, goodbyes mean hello.
But hello also means goodbye.
And so this is goodbye, with a happy ending.

Memories will always be in the back of my mind.
And I know nothing will ever be as precious.
But there's a train coming up for me,
and there's a plane out there waiting for you.

And guess what?
Hello.
Goodbye.
Hello.
Good .. - .. bye :)

Ginger reporting for duty: Day 7

Yuki, Miko and Sesame have set a new rule to newest member Ginger of I-can-play-with-you-but-if-you-come-and-touch-me-without-my-permission-I'll-growl-at-you-as-warning-before-snapping-at-you-if-you-don't-get-the-hint-then-you'll-be-running-away-and-whining-and-then-it's-gonna-be-as-if-nothing-ever-happened-5-seconds-later-and-restart-the-whole-thing-if-you-come-again-

Ginger:
Loves to bite, play around, chew on everything she can find. Talk about guarding her from the furniture edges and putting our shoes away 24/7 .
Playful, active, super-hyperactive.
Isn't really toilet trained but responses to her name and "come!"
Runs a lot but falls a lot as well because of her wobbly legs. What's gravity?
Loves water, but whines when there is water everywhere on the front porch that she cannot find a place to sleep.
Too young to know "No" but not too young to understand food. She eats a lot. And I mean a lot.
Doesn't get that the front porch is huge and steps on her poop then happily walks around everywhere.
Loves to bite, loves to play.
I think she's a stray, but I still love her more everyday ^^

Roger and out.

PS: She whine when she hears our voice but can't see where we are.
Cuteness overload.

Love, not hate. Just love.

When trying to find a gang of 2009-batch Saujanians, just look for the table that has no sound boundaries seems to be laughing at everything.

(Uhhhh, is there even such a thing called sound boundary =x Okay, maybe I just came up with that)

All the trying-to-top-each-other’s-voices-through-the-noises-so-you’re-just-shouting-to-the-person-sitting-opposite-of-you-to-just-well-uhmm-talk kind of situation. We tend to talk to the friends sitting opposite of us. Small wonder we are always the loudest and noisiest everywhere we go. Imagine a scene where North is talking to South, and East is trying to grab West’s attention, and then times another 10-15 more people.

Anyway, I forgot how it was like to hang out with them, apart from the jimui’s of course. But nothing has changed, and immediately I found the comfort I had with them all along.

It’s good to know that some things never change, and that Ajimal is still always the best of the best mamak places :p

Living in the present

Sooooooooooooooo, it’s been months since I last blogged. And there’s pretty much a very good reason behind that. I’m lazy :p

But also because I’m getting more touchy with Twitter. You know, the 144 words limit (and now they’re cutting it to fewer words by maximizing the links’ words, something like that, gosh reading all that ICT news has turned me, uh, knowledgeable, wow!) Anyway, I’m getting out of topic. The 144-word limitation has helped assist me in summarizing whatever had happened throughout the day, or more precisely, during that moment of time. I either don’t tweet, or I tweet up till like more than a a dozen tweets per day?

So, yeah. Basically, I think I’m just lazy. So, yeah, let’s just skip that, haha.

Lots had happened the past few months; memorable ones, sad ones, not-so-happy ones, you name it. But all in the end, I learnt a very valuable lesson. Love is truthful, love is kind, love is fair and love is patient.
Someone once told me that,"If you really love someone, you'll let the person go."
It has never stopped ringing in my head :)

Last time, I would only be thinking about relationship kind of love, but here, now, this new-found happier me, I think of friendships and family as well. But let’s not get there. What I would like to summarize about family is that I love them very much, and no matter what happens, I support them all the way. Uhm, one thing, though, I would like to highlight is that Grandfather has been sick for a few weeks now. He used to be healthier than me, and now, well, he’s a lot better. I feel like a bad granddaughter though for not being able to see him often because of internship. But seeing the smile on his face and teasing him 2 days back, his love is priceless.

Moving on, internship. Really enjoying my time here, even though sometimes I can’t get their Malay slang and have a really hard time catching up with them. Maybe it’s because they’re mostly my age that we get along so well. 28th’s gonna be my last day. And they’re already planning for a farewell dinner for me. Awwwwww.

Oh, long story short about internship:
1. Boss brought the whole team to Karaoke session during office hour (FIRST TIME! Felt like she kidnapped me because I had just eaten lunch and she insisted we go ‘yumcha’ by not telling the venue as usual.)
2. I dropped my phone and car keys into the deep longkang toilet pipe thingy right before we were supposed to head out to an event. Was 2 hours late, and my phone went swimming for 7 hours before the plumber got it and the cay keys out. (always remind me about that incident) (a total my-life-flashed-in-front-of-my-eyes moment)
3. (Should have put this in number one, but oh well) Zai, my boss, is super super nice and wow! Not only do I call her by her name (same to the other bosses), she’s very considerate and gives me only easy tasks so I don’t mess them up. And even if I do, we’d all laugh about it, and we have no due date to hand them up.
4. Besides that boss and that boss’ boss, I’m the only Chinese there. Setiap hari communicate dalam English and BM campur!! Imagine my first few days were like, I was talking like a kindergartener.

*takes in deep breathe* Phew!

But yeah, emo moments have gone. I don’t remember when was the last time I cried myself to sleep late October. *proud of self*

Anyway, regarding to my topic, it took me a VERY long time to get that figured out – living in the present.  
Thanks, Cesar Millan :)

One thing that shook me most is that I can’t believe I’m single, and I can’t believe that I have been single for over a year (minus the on and off break ups). Love life is still tangling here and there. But I know what I want now.

Everyday has been a challenge. And I’m loving life.

Oh, almost forgot the best and the best thing that had happened! Friday cell group :DD

Uhm, not Christian, but I do believe in His existence. But, nah, let’s not get religious then fight about the never-ending who’s right and who’s right-er. But getting back with Jo and Laureen and meeting a whole bunch of new friends who don’t judge me for my past, I look forward to laughing with them everyday.

Ups and downs, and downs and ups. Life's an expecting roller-coaster ride. I've learnt, and I wanna help others. Never do I want anyone to go through what I went through.

I guess Bill Clinton has got it really right, 
"Mental illness is nothing to be ashamed of, but stigma and bias shame us all."