I love you.

Need I say more? I'm actually okay with the fact that you don’t love me anymore, as long as I do.
And I still really, really do.

You’ll always have a huge supporter and a huge fan forever supporting you from behind, and who will always, always be on your side. You may not know it, but I hope it crosses your mind.

I apologize sincerely for all the threats I dropped on you previously. I wasn't myself, and I was just stupid as it made you run and hide and had blown up a chance at friendship.

But here, I'm okay. Whatever drama has passed. What's passed is the past. As long as you’re happy, that’s more than enough.

Future her doesn’t have to be me. Just promise, that you’ll find her one day. Let her be someone worth your tears and time and effort. If you think she’s the perfect girl for you, I know she’s the perfect girl for you.

Because I love you, silly. I've been in love with you since the very first month.
But you don’t need to know it anymore.

What started out with uoy ekil i kniht i, it's uoy evol wonk i.

Making sure I'm keeping my distance, and say I love you, when you're not listening :)

So, this is goodbye, huh? :)

For once, it feels all so good.
Sometimes, letting go is good?

I can't be there for you anymore, not because I don't want to.
I can't be there anymore, simply because I can't.

Stalking into how you've been, how you've grown since we parted ways,
I'm happy when you smile, but I worry when you frown or face insomnia nights.
But what the hell. Deep down I'll be hoping the best for you.

Sometimes, goodbyes mean hello.
But hello also means goodbye.
And so this is goodbye, with a happy ending.

Memories will always be in the back of my mind.
And I know nothing will ever be as precious.
But there's a train coming up for me,
and there's a plane out there waiting for you.

And guess what?
Hello.
Goodbye.
Hello.
Good .. - .. bye :)

Ginger reporting for duty: Day 7

Yuki, Miko and Sesame have set a new rule to newest member Ginger of I-can-play-with-you-but-if-you-come-and-touch-me-without-my-permission-I'll-growl-at-you-as-warning-before-snapping-at-you-if-you-don't-get-the-hint-then-you'll-be-running-away-and-whining-and-then-it's-gonna-be-as-if-nothing-ever-happened-5-seconds-later-and-restart-the-whole-thing-if-you-come-again-

Ginger:
Loves to bite, play around, chew on everything she can find. Talk about guarding her from the furniture edges and putting our shoes away 24/7 .
Playful, active, super-hyperactive.
Isn't really toilet trained but responses to her name and "come!"
Runs a lot but falls a lot as well because of her wobbly legs. What's gravity?
Loves water, but whines when there is water everywhere on the front porch that she cannot find a place to sleep.
Too young to know "No" but not too young to understand food. She eats a lot. And I mean a lot.
Doesn't get that the front porch is huge and steps on her poop then happily walks around everywhere.
Loves to bite, loves to play.
I think she's a stray, but I still love her more everyday ^^

Roger and out.

PS: She whine when she hears our voice but can't see where we are.
Cuteness overload.

Love, not hate. Just love.

When trying to find a gang of 2009-batch Saujanians, just look for the table that has no sound boundaries seems to be laughing at everything.

(Uhhhh, is there even such a thing called sound boundary =x Okay, maybe I just came up with that)

All the trying-to-top-each-other’s-voices-through-the-noises-so-you’re-just-shouting-to-the-person-sitting-opposite-of-you-to-just-well-uhmm-talk kind of situation. We tend to talk to the friends sitting opposite of us. Small wonder we are always the loudest and noisiest everywhere we go. Imagine a scene where North is talking to South, and East is trying to grab West’s attention, and then times another 10-15 more people.

Anyway, I forgot how it was like to hang out with them, apart from the jimui’s of course. But nothing has changed, and immediately I found the comfort I had with them all along.

It’s good to know that some things never change, and that Ajimal is still always the best of the best mamak places :p

Living in the present

Sooooooooooooooo, it’s been months since I last blogged. And there’s pretty much a very good reason behind that. I’m lazy :p

But also because I’m getting more touchy with Twitter. You know, the 144 words limit (and now they’re cutting it to fewer words by maximizing the links’ words, something like that, gosh reading all that ICT news has turned me, uh, knowledgeable, wow!) Anyway, I’m getting out of topic. The 144-word limitation has helped assist me in summarizing whatever had happened throughout the day, or more precisely, during that moment of time. I either don’t tweet, or I tweet up till like more than a a dozen tweets per day?

So, yeah. Basically, I think I’m just lazy. So, yeah, let’s just skip that, haha.

Lots had happened the past few months; memorable ones, sad ones, not-so-happy ones, you name it. But all in the end, I learnt a very valuable lesson. Love is truthful, love is kind, love is fair and love is patient.
Someone once told me that,"If you really love someone, you'll let the person go."
It has never stopped ringing in my head :)

Last time, I would only be thinking about relationship kind of love, but here, now, this new-found happier me, I think of friendships and family as well. But let’s not get there. What I would like to summarize about family is that I love them very much, and no matter what happens, I support them all the way. Uhm, one thing, though, I would like to highlight is that Grandfather has been sick for a few weeks now. He used to be healthier than me, and now, well, he’s a lot better. I feel like a bad granddaughter though for not being able to see him often because of internship. But seeing the smile on his face and teasing him 2 days back, his love is priceless.

Moving on, internship. Really enjoying my time here, even though sometimes I can’t get their Malay slang and have a really hard time catching up with them. Maybe it’s because they’re mostly my age that we get along so well. 28th’s gonna be my last day. And they’re already planning for a farewell dinner for me. Awwwwww.

Oh, long story short about internship:
1. Boss brought the whole team to Karaoke session during office hour (FIRST TIME! Felt like she kidnapped me because I had just eaten lunch and she insisted we go ‘yumcha’ by not telling the venue as usual.)
2. I dropped my phone and car keys into the deep longkang toilet pipe thingy right before we were supposed to head out to an event. Was 2 hours late, and my phone went swimming for 7 hours before the plumber got it and the cay keys out. (always remind me about that incident) (a total my-life-flashed-in-front-of-my-eyes moment)
3. (Should have put this in number one, but oh well) Zai, my boss, is super super nice and wow! Not only do I call her by her name (same to the other bosses), she’s very considerate and gives me only easy tasks so I don’t mess them up. And even if I do, we’d all laugh about it, and we have no due date to hand them up.
4. Besides that boss and that boss’ boss, I’m the only Chinese there. Setiap hari communicate dalam English and BM campur!! Imagine my first few days were like, I was talking like a kindergartener.

*takes in deep breathe* Phew!

But yeah, emo moments have gone. I don’t remember when was the last time I cried myself to sleep late October. *proud of self*

Anyway, regarding to my topic, it took me a VERY long time to get that figured out – living in the present.  
Thanks, Cesar Millan :)

One thing that shook me most is that I can’t believe I’m single, and I can’t believe that I have been single for over a year (minus the on and off break ups). Love life is still tangling here and there. But I know what I want now.

Everyday has been a challenge. And I’m loving life.

Oh, almost forgot the best and the best thing that had happened! Friday cell group :DD

Uhm, not Christian, but I do believe in His existence. But, nah, let’s not get religious then fight about the never-ending who’s right and who’s right-er. But getting back with Jo and Laureen and meeting a whole bunch of new friends who don’t judge me for my past, I look forward to laughing with them everyday.

Ups and downs, and downs and ups. Life's an expecting roller-coaster ride. I've learnt, and I wanna help others. Never do I want anyone to go through what I went through.

I guess Bill Clinton has got it really right, 
"Mental illness is nothing to be ashamed of, but stigma and bias shame us all."

As easy as breathing

Salt flows in front of her.
Guilt rushes by. Didn't mean to.
She meant the best.
Slowly, carefully.
Everything seems so fragile, heave it.
Seems it matters not.
There’s bubble tea, forgotten not, there’s black and white.
Smile, that’s pretty.
Move on, that’s beautiful.
Sounds of laughter, sounds of howling.
Sound of music, sound of whining.
Bells are ringing. Sirens pass by.
You are living.

 Unrelated: (an hour later)
Meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee, HIMYM never fails to make my day.

#SelfRelaxationTherapy

#AlexandraPotter

#DoYouComeHereOften?
#DontYouForgetAboutMe
#GoingLaLa
#MeAndMrDarcy
#YoureTheOneThatIDontWant

Her story line is all the same, but it's alright, still like them.
Shall find another author.
New York Times Bestselling Author #NicholasSpark perhaps?

Went MV the other day just for MPH.
Bought 4 more fictions and feeling oh-so-nerdy already.

Peace and quiet, and a break from the society.
That's all I need before starting internship in November.

♥ Then again, there's music ♥

Easiest add/drop subject

You know that moment your heart stops beating and everything around you seemed so blur when that special someone passes by or when you're actually in the same room with that person? Yeah, if that's the case, my heart stopped functioning for 90 minutes on the first day of short sem, most of the time trying to decrease le heart rate.
I wasn't feeling comfortable already since the morning, and the electricity that paused for a moment in the previous class had, like, taken my oxygen tank away, having me gasp for air. Then, my tummy started to flip and turn in THAT class. Talk about dizziness, lack of concentration, nausea and shortness of breathe. When the lecturer said "See you tomorrow," man, did I take up sonic speed in my foot steps getting out of class.

I don't know. I would love to see him, everyday hoping to bump into him or something. Who am I kidding anyway. Go with the flow? But then my autonomic nervous system kicks in right away when he's in sight, making me literally hide behind a pole or squat down into the crowd or turn to find another way before realizing that was the only way out.
What the heck, brain?
Nah, I don't mind taking only one subject this semester. Would want to strengthen this friendship, as well as my CGPA.

Anyway,

Weeeeeeeeeeee are never ever ever getting back together~ xDD

Ohmygosh, it's stuck in my head again!

I wonder how they made the music video.

Ryan Higa is in KL !!! :DDD

Hmmm, no greeting him at the airport, no getting his tickets at RM75 to watch his performance later this evening, only watching his Youtube videos. Some fan I am. x)

First time being so excited that someone famous is in town. Nah, the thing about him is that he inspires me because he doest feel bad about him having ADHD. Instead, he turned it into sensational masterpieces. Talk about stalking? Oh, did I mention that he is super hilarious and talented at freestyle. Haha.
Ryan Higa, among the people I don't know, I look up to the most.

Update! 24 hours later ...
Learnt that Chris had free tickets to meet Ryan live!! He went to Damansara's Bentley Auditorium and was, WHAT, 30 minutes late!! JUST BECAUSE HE DIDN'T FEEL THE ENTHUSIASM!!

"I went." WHAT!
"It was so jammed that I was ONLY 30 minutes late." WHAT, WHAT, WHAAAAAAT!
Cheeky punya smiling over there.

Tak ajak nevermind, but for not telling he's going (past tense: he went)????
Not that interested then give me the tickets maaaahhh, bully x)

Key words for the week

Student, part-time, music, piano, dogs, romance book, Twitter, last assignment for the semester, heard a song on the radio and thought I could remember the lyrics so I could go home and google it and so I didn't write it down which turned out I can't remember any of its lyrics and hence can't find the song and that song didn't seem like the kind of song that would be played everyday because it was mellow, him ♥

(That moment of realizing I'm spending more time on Twitter than Facebook now)

Hopes

It's confirmed. Mozzy (a.k.a. Bowie) is missing. On 20th July 2012, some time between 5-9pm, somehow it just happened when her human family went out for dinner, to return to find her gone just like that. Why?? She just turned two on the 7th this month. Hope that someone kind has her, and that she'll continue to live a good, happy life.


Dejavu much. Canon disappeared when he just turned two years old not long as well 5 years ago. It was also evening, but he ran out (the spoilt dog), taking along his 30cm leash with him. Well, whatever happened happened. Had been hoping that he's in good hands all these years.

They say only those who make a change in your life stays in your heart always, even if they are not physically around. Well, they gave lots of memories and a huge impact alright. Haha. I miss them.

Because it's the small things that make me laugh

Example 1:
When coming up with a funny memory and laughing by yourself in front of others. Or laughing at a friend who is laughing at himself without knowing why he's even laughing. But it's the part where the sudden laugh out of random moments make things funny.
Case: Chris telling about his first (and last, according to him) bungee jump, where he stood there for 5 minutes, getting ready to back off, until a friend gave him a word of encouragement with a slap on his back. Feels like I'm seeing a drama happening at the back of my mind. We die a million times before we really die. Hehe. It includes those heart attack moments like doing extreme sports, looking down from the 17th floor when you're afraid of heights, all files suddenly deleted with important assignments in the thumbdrive, breaking something important of your Dad's and just waiting for him to find out before you're doomed. Yup, our lives are miraculously strange and cute and amazingly weird.

Example 2:
When asked to read from the lecture notes by heart, and realize that nothing's funny but yet still seems funny which makes it even funnier. Hmmm, I'm weird.
Case: Written Discourse class, where I read (the words underlined below) "And specialized technologies, and laying eggs." Misreading, my mind goes "Laying eggs?" I actually find making no sense out of the no sense funny =x .. I'm making no sense myself.

Very the cold, very the lame. Makes me think back Form 5 though, where Madam Chen (Is it Madam Chen? Or what was her name again? Crap) was giving an example of "He fell for her", where me and Chan bursted out laughing, taking the 'fell' word literally.

Example 3:
Comics =]
Case: Besides watching TV 8-11pm every night now, thanks to Astro on Demand and those Hong Kong drama (yay!), I hang on to Calvin and Hobbes everywhere. Being thankful to be the proud owner of 5 thick Calvin and Hobbes books, yeah, the script's hillarious x)

   
           

I feel lame for laughing at things that aren't suppose to be funny. I laugh at my lameless, and I laugh because I actually laughed, and am laughing =P

Last minute thought:
Memories of Films and Arts Appreciation with the Foundation people =D
Found a video, Youtube says its no longer available. Why??
So, well, the lyrics/cut off edited parts will do. Hmmm, still think that the original scene is funnier though =p

Because rain was such a big thing back in Saujana days

"Real friendship is finding someone to share your deepest darkest secrets with,
and who will love all your flaws."
- tumblr/twitter

Not necessarily a boyfriend/girlfriend.
 
I won't say I know a lot of people in that sense of way,
but I'm proud to admit that I know some .
:)

When dogs understand more about life than people

"Being a veterinarian, I had been called to examine a ten-year-old Irish wolfhound named Belker. The dog’s owners, Ron, his wife, Lisa, and their little boy, Shane, were all very attached to Belker, and they were hoping for a miracle.
I examined Belker and found he was dying of cancer. I told the family we couldn’t do anything for Belker, and offered to perform the euthanasia procedure for the old dog in their home.
As we made arrangements, Ron and Lisa told me they thought it would be good for six-year-old Shane to observe the procedure. They felt as though Shane might learn something from the experience.
The next day, I felt the familiar catch in my throat as Belker’s family surrounded him. Shane seemed so calm, petting the old dog for the last time, that I wondered if he understood what was going on. Within a few minutes, Belker slipped peacefully away.
The little boy seemed to accept Belker’s transition without any difficulty or confusion. We sat together for a while after Belker’s death, wondering aloud about the sad fact that animal lives are shorter than human lives. Shane, who had been listening quietly, piped up, “I know why.”
Startled, we all turned to him. What came out of his mouth next stunned me. I’d never heard a more comforting explanation. He said, “People are born so that they can learn how to live a good life – like loving everybody all the time and being nice, right?”
The six-year-old continued, “Well, dogs already know how to do that, so they don’t have to stay as long.”"

 

If I'm not made for you, then why does my heart tell me that I am?

I don't know what I want to feel anymore.

Butterflies in tummy

You know that nausea feeling when the special someone is just, like, 10 steps away from you?
It's just something that attracts you, magnetizing you.
There's the urge and feeling that makes you wanna go up in front of the person.
But what comes next after being in front of him?
This stops me.
What am I to do?

Falling in love makes the world turned upside down.
And when I see that fella, I suddenly feel millions of butterflies in traffic conjuction in my stomach.
I can't stand nor can I sit still. I lose my feet, and I can't think straight and suddenly 1+1 is hard to calculate. I wander into my own lala-land, and can't really be sure of what actually goes in my mind, but this.



When he's in sight, I hide.
I turn around into the crowd before realizing my silly actions and laugh at myself.
The unexplainable. My presence doesn't affect him much, and he...?
I guess it's just a thing about love, about literally feeling my cheeks burn in red.
I can't deny the fact that it sometimes hurt, knowing that he was once called 'boyfriend' and now forever a 'stranger'.

Yup. I still love the fella, and suddenly I have no compaints in seeing him at a distance once in a while, even if it meant not talking to him, nor him noticing me.
Love is one of the happiest thing on Earth in life, then again, this beautiful thing is also a curse and is one of the lonelinest thing that you'll ever face.
No one will ever understand what I'm feeling, not even I myself in the presence or the future.



I want Rumpelstiltskin's potion.

One day for once

For once,
It was the picture that caught my eye before the quote.
For once,
The picture meant much, much more than the words.
For once,
She held everything in, and it'll continue to be like this.

Fairy tales

If it takes one to look at one concept, Once Upon A Time tells me that 'happily ever after' comes with a price.  It never comes as it is, because it takes a time, bravery, courage, with evilness to block the way (stab for the childhood!)

Positive's positive

Everything is was productive enough. Well, it's crazy where sometimes all you needed was to face those emotions, let the tears drain a little, and the clouds would soon disappear.

Come to realize it, Zan Azlee showing us 1972 case's Bloody Sunday on film was pure arts, (well compared to the previous film of Happy Together he showed previously, yeah). Talk about all the mainstream news that came in contrast with the alternatives and the truth. So Altenative Voices and Issues here.

Those nights

It's cliché. But what if, all we're going through is just a dream, and we only wake up when we die? I don't wanna have any of these nightmares anymore. Then again, what if I was wrong? And screwing it, the feeling is back.

Anyway, on those mornings where I tend to look like some walking zombie or some moody panda, it's because I put on a mask the night before, head out the dark streets and save the world.

June 7, 2010

I don't always take pictures of my dogs (I'm not the very-photographer-ish kind of person and my taking photo skills are indeed quite in a way very slightly bad), but when I do:

1. It is never on their actual birthday-day(date?). It's either delayed pictures or those that were kept until desperate moments call for desperate times.
2. The blacky always seem to be a little, well, just black. Nah, I don't expect much from a camera in the phone.
3. The dogs never sit still for me to take shots of them. (There's no shutter speed in my world! Okay, maybe there is, but it'll take me 12 hours before I learn to master this VERY SIMPLE step. Blame me.)
4. I take up to at least an hour spending time with them, trying to make them stay still ♥

Anyway, on this day 2 years ago, I was in QM class, trying my very best in concentrating in class, and was finally succeeding for the very first time in 6 weeks in my first semester of College life! And then I received a call where I received news of Yuki giving birth. Then, poof!, there went my concentration.

Anywaaaaaaay, on this very day 2 years ago, 4 adorable puppies were introduced to the world. We ended up keeping 2 of them who grew up to be healthy, lazy things eating and sleeping for free in our house. They did (sadly to say) help to get rid of and killed a few flies, lizards and frogs. Well, they do enjoy chasing after squirrels and barking at the neighbour's cats.

At 2 years old, Sesame and Miko are pretty much still looking like puppies, and are still being very adorable each and every day. They never fail to keep me company and well, they are the most loyal living things on this earth :)

Random being random

The word given was 'FLOOD'.
People thought the word was 'TSUNAMI'.
Waaaaah, is my drawing really that much to handle?

And for 'EMMA', I put 3 skeleton people (2 without hair and one with long hair).
I named the first two 'Harry Potter' and 'Ron', asking others to guess the third person.
Wheeeeeee~

Yup, creative skills are kicking in a terrible, drawing way :p
Not to mention being super high weiiiiiii!

400 more words to go for assignment!
Brain dead!

Lack of sleep makes Mondays even bluer

Well, it does come with a price to pay for having fun during the weekends, with the coming deadline on Wednesday, with 600 more words to go.
Burning the midnight oil meant having one aim for Monday morning classes - do whatever it takes to struggle to stay awake in class.
Didn't even care whether can I read my notes later on.
Scribbling is the best way to fake out concentration x)

Deadlines all lining in a row with that cheeky smile.
But there's always time for that certain project.
Lots of love.
Gambateh! :D

Saujana choir

Currently taking a break from assignments.

What is also currently on is that people might think that I'm crazy for going back to Saujana weekly these days. Well, choir practices are on and so are the second and third competition coming around the corner.
There's also still the juniors, who are now Form 5, who will forever be staying Form 2 from my point of view.
Well, I myself think that I'm crazy as well, for accompanying Puan Tai into stressing out for the choir team.

Anyway, it's been almost a month where their progress is being kept track.
Haritha's amazingly showing talent in conducting after a few practices.
Ian Yi's awesomely showing her leadership with Kelly alongside to give commands.
Je Wei who was singing Soprano back then is now leading the guys.
Marie who never qualified into entering the competition is now taking centre stage.
Maybe it's these juniors, or maybe it's the memories that music and choir brought.
Choir had became a part of my high school life, and without this club, I would have never met so many awesome people like Yvonne, Jo and so forth.

Anyway, whaaaaaat? Not to spoil it, it was their first competition yesterday.
They could have done better and well, yeah.
Out of 15 schools, top 3 was no where in sight. But wait for it, the spirit was so strong that when I met them again up for tea break, it was as if they've gotten number one.

These people are awesome. Not to mention rich as they chose Loving Cafe instead of ol' Ajimal.
And well said, their tune is so out! xD

Well, there's one thing, I enjoy going back anyway. Putting them (and entertainment as an extra music bonus) as priority, they bring me more happiness than anyone else can ever bring today.
Choir brings memories, always making looking back to the day where I first joined the club; making me wishing that high school could rewind in where laughing-till-you-can't-breathe was a daily thing.
I'd prefer Saujanians any day.

Life moves on?
And next practice is on Thursday! :D

Miko's turning more into a baby.

Well, I guess whatever happened had placed a huge impact on me, in where I've turned my focus all towards the dogs, and I'm pretty much in a way starting to pamper them even more than before. Yuki and Sesame are still the same, though I let them upstairs quite a lot when parents are not at home. Ooops. And even when my mum disagrees, I love bringing them on roadtrips. Anyway, yeah, Yuki and Sesame are same-o same-o, and still very much obeying my commands. Miko, on the other hand, yeaaaaah, she's loving life.

I've been carrying her and hugging her and always putting her on my laps so much she's become really sticky to humans now. Leave her at home alone and she'll whine till I get home; Leave her outside the front porch while I'm still sleeping at 10am and she'll be the new alarm clock, whining and barking; Don't see her for 30 minutes and she'll miss you so much she jump on you, wanting the attention.

Uhmmmmmmmmmm.. So she prefers humans more than animals, and because she follows me so much I don't need to use a leash on her during walks. Blaaa, I'm making her think she's human and not a dog anymore. But she's cute, and she love sleeping on my lap, and she has those blur puppy dog eyes. No complaints here, until then..

Turning 6 years old

A mother of 8, Yuki still acts like a puppy.
Running around and jumping around when there's food and strangers and squirrels.
And with those big eyes, she gives people the staaaaare all the time!
She growls and shows those sharp teeth of hers, but just lift her up and carry her like a baby and she'll be all calmed.
:p


Till death do us apart, Yuki :)

Don't break my heart

The gate was opened and they ran out like usual when no one is strict in controlling them. They targetted the neighbour's cat and they ran like there was nothing else better than freedom. Of course. They're just happy-go-lucky dogs that loves cats.
Anyway, the mother and sister ran home under command, and it was left the blacky that was suddenly out of sight. And because of that, by 8 in the morning today, I had gone through a whole lot of exercise trying to find her.

I looked under each cars that was in the neighbourhood street;
I looked around the muddy soil near the pond, in fear that she might fall into it wouldn't know how to swim;
I walked to and fro my house and the last house on the street;
Calling her name, which I had never done before when a dog goes mising, I remember that she's finally learnt of her name at 22 months of age.

And there she was, Sesame walking slumberly on the main road!!! Well that was how I saw the small little black dog from afar. I'd recognize her messy fur anywhere x)
Come on, I just woke up like 15 minutes ago. I havent even been in the bathroom yet! And she had me run towards her. I guess she didn't see me, because when I approached the roadside, she was at a distance, almost getting ready to jump into another car, AGAIN!
At a near distance, Sesame was actually trembling. She heard my call and she was shaking and walking slowly towards me in the MIDDLE OF THE ROAD, with a black Myvi behind her followed by quite a traffic behind her.
She was still a little shakened by the whole 'I'm standing in the middle of the road and I can get killed or kidnapped anytime' when being carried on the way home, but punishment is punishment, she's in her cage now.

If Sesame goes missing, Miko would change as well. Thought they fight and bully each other, they're nothing when seperated, and they're never seperated.
Tried it once, and the both of the puppies each ended up emo'ing, sitting guard at the gate most of the time, sticking to owners more than ever, losing all courage and suddenly becoming very timid, and suddenly losing all energy to move about.
It's also her mother's birthday tomorrow. Turning 6, Yuki wouldn't want Sesame to be lost as a gift.
Don't go breaking her heart, their hearts. Don't break mine.

"Let's start over" :)

Two years and two months. Easier said than done.

Those 30 minutes changed everything. And when we said our Goodbye's, it felt like one of us was going overseas. It felt like we weren't gonna see each other anymore for 2 years, when in reality we're gonna bump in college.
Whatever it is, all those were sweet talk, honest sweet talk, and I believe every sentence that was said.
Doubts? None at all.
Two years later this time, I see myself finishing all subjects and internships, in my last month of pet grooming course, and waiting for July for UCSI's Convocation, as well as a beautiful miracle to happen.

In the meantime, basketball, anyone?

Things that make me laugh and cry

 

Because Blogspot and Twitter are more less known

"When you're up in life, your friends get to know who you are. When you're down in life, you get to know who your friends are." --@dearjohnfilm

Have yet watch the film Dear John, but I love what they tweet.
Lovely, meaningful, beautiful ♥

Soooooo, how should I start after so long?
Let's start with a few months ago, where I was this girl suffering from a break up.
Sadly speaking, I fell into my own trap and my biggest enemy was my mind.
I would say I had some mild/major problems going on that time.
No matter how much I tried, no matter how much I thought about the future, my loved ones and the bright sunlight I'm blessed with, I never felt happy.
I was addicted to being sad all the time.
And I felt that the whole world had turned against me that there was no point in hearing the alarm clock ring in the morning anymore.

I turned to my family first, and left them.
I then turned to my friends, and I hid from them.
Later on, I turned to another batch of 'friends'.
Yes, 'friends', who made me feel so alive for a short while and stabbed me harder with more pain to suffer half way through.
So it was like putting salt onto a wound. Double that.
I wanted to scream so badly I was going mad.
I took up the courage and went to see a counsellor in college.
When I tried to avoid going to sessions later on, she still helped guided me through this rough path.
Better, weeks or perhaps months later, I found out that my true friends never gave up on me. Same goes to my family who are still giving 100% support to me.
I haven't hug my mum in ages, and it felt great.

I dare to speak out right now, because I guess finally after all this while, I finally have the strength to stand up and face stuff.
I'm still madly, deeply in love, I can't deny that.
But what I can deny is that I'm not going emo 6 days a week now.
I'm not crying 20 hours a day and I'm not spamming calls on people and using RM200-300 per month.
Or course I still feel sad at the specific reason from time to time, but I'm really glad that we're still friends.




Just, to R and E, I was fragile back then. Maybe you never had the intention, but knowing that all your concerns were fake, and all sweet talk and hugs were lies and more lies, I'm more cautious with people like you. I'll still pick up your calls and hang out with you guys if invited, but I'll never look at you the same way I did before. My biggest mistake was trusting the 3 of you and blindly trusting you all with secrets. I can only hope they stay where they were first spilled.

If all else fails, hug your dog

Yuki gave birth to 4 adorable puppies 2 years ago.
We gave Mozzy and Cotton June away when they were 2-3 months old to close friends.
Their names have since changed to Bowie and Muffin.

Anyway, Bowie's family went on a trip for the weekends and she's has been living with us for 3 days. Mozzy, uhmm, Bowie has became a very in dependant dog that she's forgotten all about her mother and sisters. Well, same went for the mother and sisters towards her. Yuki, Sesame and Miko don't mix with her and vice versa. Instead, Bowie sticks to humans only.

Bowie today.And Bowie at 6 weeks.:)

Fastest birthday suprise ever

The time was around 6.50pm when the 4 of us reached our destination. We brought the present and donuts out and right before we lit the candles and sung the song, the very blur Kar Chun, who apparently lied saying he was still in Kampar who was actually hiding in the back seat in the very small little Myvi, appeared. It was then was Shally stunned big time as we celebrated her birthday a day earlier right in the middle of the parking area at her apartment. It was fast because right after that, the 3 of us jimui's left, leaving behind the 2 to have some time alone :p

Shally's one of the strongest person I know. She goes through difficult stuff and all almost everyday, but she still manages to get through and on with life. I remember very clearly that she once said "There's no point in complaining, holding grudes or crying. The problem doesn't go away. We're grown up now and we need to deal with them." Then again, I love to see her smile. And I'll always be hoping that she'll be happy 24/7 :)

Anyway, Form 3 changed all. By agak agak knowing who Shally was, we ended up sitting together, exchanged a few chats and laughs and now are heading towards friends forever.
Love you, girl. Happy 20th Birthday on the 20th :)

Yesterday we were just children, dreaming dreams with happy endings

Because it's too complicated with people.
Hence, my future's gonna be dealing with dogs.
I don't care what others would think of me then.
And no one's gonna stop me from achieving that dream.
It's the only dream I've got.

Hi, Wednesday

Pic taken by Chee.

Funny thing was, the evacuation drill only happened in Block C.

People like me who so happened to skip class during that period of time (3.10pm) sat peacefully in Block A, not knowing what had just happened :p