Because Blogspot and Twitter are more less known

"When you're up in life, your friends get to know who you are. When you're down in life, you get to know who your friends are." --@dearjohnfilm

Have yet watch the film Dear John, but I love what they tweet.
Lovely, meaningful, beautiful ♥

Soooooo, how should I start after so long?
Let's start with a few months ago, where I was this girl suffering from a break up.
Sadly speaking, I fell into my own trap and my biggest enemy was my mind.
I would say I had some mild/major problems going on that time.
No matter how much I tried, no matter how much I thought about the future, my loved ones and the bright sunlight I'm blessed with, I never felt happy.
I was addicted to being sad all the time.
And I felt that the whole world had turned against me that there was no point in hearing the alarm clock ring in the morning anymore.

I turned to my family first, and left them.
I then turned to my friends, and I hid from them.
Later on, I turned to another batch of 'friends'.
Yes, 'friends', who made me feel so alive for a short while and stabbed me harder with more pain to suffer half way through.
So it was like putting salt onto a wound. Double that.
I wanted to scream so badly I was going mad.
I took up the courage and went to see a counsellor in college.
When I tried to avoid going to sessions later on, she still helped guided me through this rough path.
Better, weeks or perhaps months later, I found out that my true friends never gave up on me. Same goes to my family who are still giving 100% support to me.
I haven't hug my mum in ages, and it felt great.

I dare to speak out right now, because I guess finally after all this while, I finally have the strength to stand up and face stuff.
I'm still madly, deeply in love, I can't deny that.
But what I can deny is that I'm not going emo 6 days a week now.
I'm not crying 20 hours a day and I'm not spamming calls on people and using RM200-300 per month.
Or course I still feel sad at the specific reason from time to time, but I'm really glad that we're still friends.




Just, to R and E, I was fragile back then. Maybe you never had the intention, but knowing that all your concerns were fake, and all sweet talk and hugs were lies and more lies, I'm more cautious with people like you. I'll still pick up your calls and hang out with you guys if invited, but I'll never look at you the same way I did before. My biggest mistake was trusting the 3 of you and blindly trusting you all with secrets. I can only hope they stay where they were first spilled.